A MR Parody Thign: Book II
by Bedelato
Summary: Here it is... The sequel to my first parody! Based on School's Out Forever. Featuring hungry Ari, costume gags, video game cameos, and more. Reviews appreciated but not required.
1. Part 1, Segment 1

**A MR Parody Thingy**

**Book 2**

Based on: School's Out -- Forever

_Table of ownership:_

**JP owns:**

-(Most of) The characters

-Title

-Books

-Plot

**I own:**

-Narrator

-My take on the plot

-This file

**SPOILER WARNING: **Contains minor spoilers for other books in the series.

**Introduction**

Narrator: Yo peoples! I'm the narrator of this thingy! I will be annoying! I will be the narrator, the narrator, the narrator, and--

Max: OKAY, we get it!

Narrator: Alright, I'll stop. [takes deep breath] I'll be the narrator, the narrator, the narrator--

Max: Get outta here. SECURITY!!!

Fang, Iggy: Righto! [start chasing Narrator around the room]

Max: Whatever. Let's get this show started already.

Narrator: [weakly] One...more...chance...pleez...Max...

Max: No. [Kicks Narrator in scalp, sending him across the room]

**Part One**

**The skies above New England**

Max: Wow, flying is really cool.

Gazzy: Max!

Max: _Just ignore him, just ignore him..._

Gazzy: Max! Max Max Max Max Max Max Max!!!!!

Max: WHAT!?

Gazzy: I like juice. Also, there's a UFO.

Alien: Hi.

Max: Hi.

Alien: [Takes off costume to reveal...]

Narrator: [Pulls out microphone] Yo, peoples! [Starts beatboxing]

Max: [Does roundhouse kick on both Narrator and Gazzy] That's better.

Fang: You okay?

Max: Yeah.

Fang: Good. I thought, what with killing Ari and all that--

Max: WAAAAAAAH!!!!!

Fang: Told ya so.

................

Voice: _Optimisim is overated, bub. Face reality head-on, blah blah blah..._

Max: Alright. Shut up.

Voice: _I like juice._

Total: [Flies up to Max] Hey.

Nudge: Hey! Not fair! You don't get wings until book four! You're not even supposed to talk yet!

Iggy: Book four? I gots nothin'.

Nudge: The Final Warning? The one people pretend was never written? Akila? The _Wendy K._? Antarctica? The Uber-Director?

Iggy: No bell.

Nudge: Aw, flubbergaskets.

................

Ari: Come on, come on, come on...

Boss: [over radio] We've got our target.

Ari: Really?

Boss: Yes.

Ari: YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY YAY!

Boss: You know I heard that, right?

Ari: Really? [Looks down at radio and sees his finger on "TALK" button] Aw, flubbergaskets. [takes painkiller]

Eraser #1: Where are they?

Narrator: I don't know.

Eraser #1: Who are you?

Narrator: I'm the narrator. I just got kicked by Max. I've been following them to Washington DC.

Ari: All right! Thanks, man! Soon-- [starts morphing]

Eraser #2: What?

Ari: Flashlight please. [Eraser #2 hands Ari flashlight] That's better. Anyways... I WILL KILL MAX! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! [stomach growls] Aw, man. Let's get us some f00dz! Now! Hey, maybe's I can eat the flock once I kill 'em!

Erasers: YEAH!

................

Fang: [pointing to Delaware coast] Look, kids! We're learning geography!

Angel: [pointing to dark cloud of something] Look, kids! We're learning something!

Max: What is that cloud anyway?

Gazzy: Is it flying Erasers?

All: Nah.

Iggy: Probably just a storm.

Nudge: Let's keep flying.

[The cloud advances toward them from behind. Flock just keeps flying ahead ignoring it. "Jaws" music is playing in background.]

Nudge: Wow. That storm's FAST.

Ari: Yo. Check out my new add-on. I'm here for the fight scene.

Max: There isn't any fight scene!

Ari: You can't fight the script.

Flock: YIKES! THEY ARE FLYING ERASERS! FLY FOR UR LIFEZ! [Start flying for thr lifez]

Fang: YOU ARE A FRIDGE WITH WINGS. WE'RE FREAKING BALLET DANCERS. I think... Hey, what are you doing!?

Ari: I'm hungry. [Swipes at Fang, shredding his side]

Fang: Hey! I just had that dry-cleaned! [passes out]

................

Max: Those Erasers were easy... Wait a minute! Fang? Fang? FAAANG!!!!?

Fang: I gotz deaded...

Passerby: Oh my goshies! You people look like you've been mauled by werewolves!

Max: Actually, that's kinda what happened.

Passerby: [Sees Fang bleeding on ground, wings still out] Oh noes! A hurt bird kid! 911! 911! 911!

Medic #1: Yo, bird kids! It's us, teh medikz d00dz!

Max: Uhh... [Turns to flock] "Yay" or "Yikes"? Can I take a vote?

Flock: Yay.

Max: Alright. Yay it is. C'mon peoples. [Steps inside ambulance]


	2. Part 1, Segment 2

**An ambulance**

Medic #1: [looking at Fang's ECG] Oh noez! He's fibrillating! Get teh paddelz! NOW!!1!1

Medic #2: Here ya go. [Hands Medic #1 shock paddles]

Medic #1: Clear! [Starts bringing paddles together]

Max: [Rushes Medic #1, knocking paddles from his hand] NOO!!! He's supposed to be like that!

Ambulance: [drives onto hospital property... then breaks down.]

Driver: Aw, flubbergaskets. Ambulance broke.

Max: I blame the taxpayers.

Narrator: [Comes up in front with wrench in mouth] I like juice.

All: YOU!!!!

[Color bars]

................

**Hospital - Front desk**

Nurse: Names?

Max: Max Ride. Just Max. And this is my brother, uh, Steve.

Fang: _Steve!?_

Max: No, wait. He's Nick. Not Steve.

Nurse: Do your parents know about this?

Max: They're, um, religion people... Uh, missionaries?

Nurse: Okay. Can I see some ID?

Max: Angel?

Nurse: I mean, follow me. [Max and Angel exchange high fives]

................

**Hostpital - Waiting room**

Max: [thinking] _Oh no. They're gonna see the wings and then..._

Doctor: [opens door] Max, uh, Ride, is it?

Max: Just Max, bub.

Doctor: Of course. Now, I have questions.

................

**Hospital - Fang's room**

Doctor: [Listens to Fang with stethoscope] What's the air for... Wait a minute! You're bird kids, aren't you?

Max: [sulking] Yes.

Doctor: Someone called about you. What was his name? Arthur? Arnold? Earl? Oh, yeah. His name was Ari. Said something about a horse's mouth.

Max: GRRR!!! ERASERS! I HATE THEM!! [Thrashes around room, knocking stuff over]

Doctor: Calm down, calm down. He needs a donation.

Max: I'm gonna be dead. If it's not heartbreak, it'll be from termination.

Doctor: What?

Max: Nothing. Let me donate.

Doctor: Okay... [Starts plunging needle]

Max: OW!!!

Doctor: What?

Max: Nothing.

Doctor: Okay. [Tries again]

Narrator: OW!

Doctor: What?

Max: That wasn't me.

Doctor: Then who is it?

Narrator: Yo.

Max: Was that you?

Narrator: Maybe.

Max: Get outta here.

Doctor: That guy's a moron.

Max: I know.

................

**Hospital - Waiting room**

Max: No flock... no flock... no flock...

Other people: Hey cool! A bird kid! YAY! [Crowd around Max]

Max: Oh noes! [Runs into hallway, straight into a nurse]

Nurse: They're in room seven.

Max: Thanks.

................

**Hospital - Room 7**

Max: Hi, guys.

Flock: MAX!

Agent #1: Yo.

Agent #2: We're with the FBI.

Agent #3: I like juice.

Narrator: I like juice.

Agent #3: That's my line!

Narrator: I don't care.

Agent #1: Eat up.

Max: No.

Agent #2: Look. I'm going to contaminate Angel's fork with my cheese!

Max: Oh, yeah? You're not spies for the School?

Agent #1: No clue what you're talking about. Anyways, we gotz f00dz for you, and then you guyz gotta come with us and answer some questions.

Max: Sounds fine.

................

**Angel's interrogation**

Agent 1: What's your name?

Angel: Ariel. Can I go now?

Narrator: I'm a weasel person!!!

Agent 1: ???

Angel: ???

Agent 1: Get rid of that idiot and it's a deal.

Angel: [mischievous grin] Yay.

Narrator: [gulp]

**Gazzy's interrogation**

Agent 2: What's your name?

Gazzy: Captain Terror.

Agent 2: Captain Terror?

Gazzy: Yeah.

Agent 2: So, can you tell us what this picture is?

Gazzy: Yeah. [in Dean's voice] Okay, time to go!

Agent 2: Just a minute!

Gazzy: [farts]

Narrator: [does chicken dance] I'm unconscious! I'm--

Gazzy: [kicks Narrator]

Agent 2: [waving air away] Coming!

**Iggy's interrogation**

Agent 3: How did you get blind?

Iggy: I don't know.

Agent 3: Good enough for me.

**Nudge's interrogation**

Nudge: BLAH BLAH BLAH CHEEZBERGERZ BLAH BLAH KRYSTAL BLAH BLAH QUEEN BLAH BLAH BLAH --

Sarah: Uh huh. A bit of advice: Lay off the Nerds Ropes.

Nudge: Aww, man. I liekz my werdz.

Sarah: Have you been to California?

Nudge: No.

**Max's interrogation**

Max: Okay. Let's get this over with.

Dean: Okay. Do you know Beb Jedalcher?

Max: Who?

Dean: Darn Spoonerisms. Do you know Jeb Batchelder?

Max: [goes pale] Yes... I mean, No.

Dean: Whatever. Have you been to Rocolada?

Max: Sounds Hawaiian or something.

Dean: Never mind. My tongue's acting nuffy today. Dismissed.

Max: Hey Angel! That's MY muffin!

Total: But it's so yummy!

Anne: I like juice.

Max: [aside] 4 to 2 in favor of "Yikes".

Dean: Not so fast! [Takes off his costume to reveal...]

Narrator: [singsong voice] Guess who...?

Max: RUN!! [Tries to run but Anne stops her]

Anne: Not so fast! [Takes off her costume to reveal...]

Jeb: Yo.

Max: Yikes!

Narrator: Not so fast! [Takes off his costume to reveal...]

Ari: I'm still hungry.

Max: Okay, this is weird.

Anne: Yo.

Max: Are you in a costume again?

Anne: Maybe.

Max: Whatev.


	3. Part 1, Segment 3

**Hospital - Unknown hospital room**

_**That night...**_

Doctor: Hey, Max. It looks like Nick's all better.

Flock: YAY!

Doctor: Not quite though. He needs a week.

Fang: [sitting up] Hi guys!

Nudge: Hey, what happened to that Narrator?

Iggy: I don't know.

Narrator: Yo. [Does goofy dance] I'm annoying! I'm annoying! I'm annoying!

Max: Yes you are. Doc? Take care of this guy for me.

Doctor: Sure thing, miss. [Pulls out tranquilizer] Hehehe.

Narrator: [faints]

................

Max: I can't sleep. I'll go use the bathroom.

_57 seconds later..._

Max: Ahh, that's much better. Wait a minute...

Eraser Max: Yo.

Max: [Throws hands up] NOOOO!!!

................

_**The next day...**_

Anne: Good morning, peoples!

Fang: I wantz f00dz.

Anne: No. You gots a IV.

Fang: I don't care. Gimme teh f00dz.

Anne: Fine. Here ya go.

Max: We're staying at Anne's house... [aside] Yay-Yikes vote is equal this time.

Nudge: Nick should come.

Iggy: Fnick IS Superman.

Gazzy: Ooh! Can I be Captain Underpants? [farts]

Max: No.

Gazzy: Aw, flubbergaskets.

Anne: Let's go to my house.

Max: I think we'll skip the vote this time. Let's just go.

Flock: OK.

................

**Anne's car**

_**Later...**_

Max: Gol, Virginia's shore purty.

Fang: Jeez, Max, I luve yore acksent.

Gazzy: I iz speaking liek 1 of dem lulz kittehz!

Narrator: [from roof of car] WHEE!

Max: Stop it Gazzy. Please.

Gazzy: Aw man.

................

_**That night...**_

Fang: Hmm... Look at these files.

Max: What?

Fang: They seem to correspond to this map that I got a hold of in a semilegal manner.

~Flashback~

Fang: Can I get this map?

Map dude: Sure.

Fang: Okay.

~End flashback~

Max: OK. Let's go.

................

**In town somewhere**

Fang: Burger joint...Pizza parlor...Abandoned lot... Ooh, an apartment! Let's go in!

Max: It's quiet. Ooh, this looks just like Gazzy! And look at this balloon!

Fang: Why's the balloon shaped like a crib?

Max: No clue. [pops balloon]

Thug 1: You think you can pop our crib?

Max: Uhh...

Thug 2: Its a chick, huhuhuhu!

Fang: I don't speak scuz.

Thug 1: [draws knife] You're gunna be awr chick.

Fang: [spreads wings] Boys... God doesn't like you...

Thug 2: What does that mean?

Thug 1: Dunno. I'm atheist.

Fang: God doesn't like bad people...

Thug 1: What the...?

Fang: I am the angel of death...

Narrator: And I'm the crazy person! Yay!

Max: Somebody get the non sequitur out of here, please!

Thug 2: Who is that guy?

Max: You don't wanna be friends with him. It's impossible. Trust me.

Fang: Muhahaha... [Flaps wings] C'mon Max! Join in!

Max: Okay, I'll join. [Spreads wings] This was a test. And guess what?

Thug 1: We aced it?

Max: You both FAILED!!! ROWR!!!

Fang: ROWR!!!

Thugs: Yikes!!! [backpedal down stairs, missing a step and going through the floor]

Max: Ouch.

Fang: That was fun.

World: [catches fire]

................

**Anne's house - Bathroom**

_**Later that night...**_

Max: I love hot showers! [Turns off shower]

Iggy: I've gotta brush my teethz. Can I come in?

Max: Naked.

Iggy: Blind.

Max: Still no.

Iggy: Well, hurry up in there!

Max: Whew... Wait a minute!

Eraser Max: Guess who…?

Max: [Throws hands up] NOOOO!!!

Narrator: [Clutches projector tightly] Hehehe...

................

**Anne's house - Max's room**

Angel: I wanna go fly.

Max: OK.

Iggy: Look! Bats!

Max: Says the blind kid. I'm gonna go ahead.

Flock: Okay.

Max: Wow, what's this? COOL! I have s00per speed!

Flock: Yay!

................

Max: So, we tried to find our parents.

Fang: Yeah. But we didn't have much luck. So we'll skip that part. It's rather boring.

Ari: Hello!? Anyone here? I'm still hungry!

Max: [kicks Ari]

................

_**The next morning...**_

Anne: Good morning, peoples! I have good news! You're going to school!

[The entire flock spits out their food in perfect unison. It stains Anne's shirt]

Anne: Hey! I just had that dry-cleaned!

Fang: Hahahaha.

Anne: No, really. You start on Monday. Oh yeah, there's uniforms.

Mx Ng: NOOOOOO!!!! [Flies out the window]

…………….


	4. Part 2, Segment 1

**Part Two**

**Anne's house - Kitchen**

_**The next day...**_

Anne: So, you're going to school now.

Flock: Um… yay?

Anne: Oh, yeah. You're walking home.

Flock: Darn!

................

**In a tree near the (regular) school**

Ari: They've arrived. Right on cue.

Max II: Yeah.

Ari: They won't suspect a thing.

Max II: Yeah.

Ari: The beginning of the _end_. Isn't that right, Max II?

Max II: Yeah.

Ari: Don't you ever say anything else but "Yeah"?

Max II: Yeah.

Ari: I'm still hungry.

Max II: Yeah.

................

**(Regular) school - Parking lot**

Gardener: Oh, no! That grass is uneven! [mows there] Oh, no! That tree isn't exactly Pi feet away from the building! [chops tree]

Lawyer: Nobody with OCD was harmed in the making of the above line.

Gardener: I like juice.

................

**(Regular) school - Entrance**

Max: Okay… No antiseptic smell. That's good.

Cuelbar: Zephyr?

Gazzy: Yah?

Max: At least he's not Captain Terror anymore.

Fang: What were you expecting? Snathobobster?

Max: Yes.

Cheatham: Nick? Jeff? Welcome.

Segerdahl: Max? You're in my class.

Max: OK.

................

**Angel's class**

Solowski: Guess which part of the Earth this is? [shows picture of Yucatan]

Narrator: Uhh... Mars?

Solowski: No.

Angel: It's the Yucatan. It's got Mayan ruins.

Narrator: Mayan? Like what you put on f00dz?

Solowski: That's _mayonnaise_.

................

**Nudge's class**

Nudge: MY NAME IS TIFFANY-KRYSTAL WITH ONE OF THOSE LITTLE MINUS SIGN THINGIES AND I CAN'T SPELL AND--

Teacher: Okay... I'll tell you one last time: No more Nerds Ropes before school.

Nudge: Who are you, my mom?

Teacher: Yes.

Nudge: Wow.

................

**Fang's class**

Fang: Where are the dictionaries?

Lissa: They're over here.

Fang: You know what? You're kind of cute.

Lissa: I was hoping you'd say that... [takes off costume to reveal...]

Max: You're busted, Busto.

Fang: I thought it was Buster. And aren't you in Ms. Segerdahl's room?

Max: I cut class.

Fang: Uhh...

................

**Gazzy's recess**

Random kid: I'm gonna fly!

Gazzy: Let's see it!

Random kid: Okay! [spreads wings]

Other kids: Wow!

Coconut: I wanna do it! I'm a wingnut!

Gazzy: Let's see it!

Coconut: [spreads wings; falls to ground] Ow my arm!

Big kid: Why'd you do that?

Gazzy: I didn't know.

Big kid: Cuz he's from the planet Earth.

Gazzy: Um, what does that make you?

Big kid: Good point.

................

**Max's class**

Max: Asunción.

Segerdahl: Very good Max! Oh, yeah. You need to go to the office for no apparent reason.

Max: Fine by me.


	5. Part 2, Segment 2

**(Regular) school - Headmaster's office**

Pruitt: I am the nar--er, the headmaster. You are Maxine Ride?

Max: Maybe.

Pruitt: These are your brothers?

Max: Maybe.

Pruitt: Your brothers did a stinky?

~Flashback~

Iggy: Let's do a stink bomb in the bathroom!

Gazzy: Why?

Iggy: Because it's 73.2 degrees outside.

Gazzy: Farenheit or centigrade?

Iggy: Don't care.

Stink bomb: WHEE! [boom]

~End flashback~

Max: Maybe.

Pruitt: They're lying by denying it?

Max: Maybe.

Pruitt: Say something else for a change, will ya?

Max: Maybe.

Pruitt: Ugh... Alright, you can go.

................

**Walking home**

Max: This road's making me nervous.

Road: Hi.

Max: It TALKS?

Road: Uhh... [is silenced]

................

**Anne's house - Front porch**

Fang: Aw, flubbergaskets, the door's locked.

Anne: [from inside] I'll get it. [gets up]

Gazzy: Let's kick it open!

Flock: Yay! [kicks door]

Door: I'm doing something!

Anne: Come on in.

................

**Anne's house - Living room**

Phone: Ringies and stuff. I'm bored.

Anne: [picks up phone]

~Phone~

Anne: I like juice.

_Pruitt: Zephyr and Jeff did a stinky in the bathroom._

Anne: Uhh... okay?

~End phone~

................

**Angel's class**

Solowski: It's time to go out for recess! You peoples use the tiny playground [holds up index card with actual size plan of tiny playground] because it's 73.2 degrees outside.

Angel: [pushing thought at Solowski] _No. I want the big playground because I like juice._

Someone: Farenheit or centigrade?

Solowski: Farenheit. Actually--uh, I don't see why you can't play on the bigger playground.

Students: Yay!

**(Regular) school - Playground**

Angel: Let's play Swan Lake!

Meredith: Aw, flubbergaskets, I wanted to play Swan Lake!

Kayla: That's what she said, cheesehead!

Courtney: Cheese? Where!?

Narrator: I'm a swan! [starts acting like a dog] WHEE!

Kayla: Ariel, do you know that crazy person?

Angel: Yes. He's been stalking me and my siblings for weeks. I wanna be Odette.

Meredith: Let's go and dogpile the idiot!

Kayla: But we're swans. How can swans dogpile?

Meredith: I don't know.

................

**(Regular) school - Library**

Sam: I can get off.  
Max: Okay.

Sam: Where are you from?

Max: Uh . . . New Floridakotacalitexayorkachusetts Island?

Sam: Where's that?

Max: Uh . . . No clue.

Sam: Bye.

Max: [sits down at computer]

Computer: _A problem has been detected and Windows has been shut down to prevent damage to your computer..._

Max: Grr... [Raises fists to computer screen]

Computer: [BSOD disappears, desktop shows again]

Max: -Sigh- I'll never fit in.


	6. Part 2, Segment 3

**(Regular) school - Library**

~Web page~

Ter Borcht, Roland. Geneticist. Medical license revoked, 2001. Imprisoned for unauthorized attraction to fruit extract, 2002. A controversial figure in something, ter Borcht was for some time considered stupid. After becoming famous for randomly shouting "I like juice", he was declared even more stupid. He is held in the "Dangerous - Incurable" wing of a rehabilitation facility in the Netherlandz.

~end Web page~

Max: Where have I heard that name before?

Pruitt: SIT UP!!

Max: [turns around] ???

Random kid: OH NOES!!!!1!1!!11

Lazzara: Oh, brother.

Pruitt: THIS ISN'T YOUR BEDROOM!! THIS ISN'T THE MOVIES!! AND IT'S NOT SCHOOL!!

Random kid: ???

Pruitt: Uhh... actually, it is school. But anyways... YOU MAY NOT LOUNGE ABOUT LIKE THE SLUGGY MANS YOU ARE. YOU WILL SIT UP STRAIGHT, YOU INVERTEBRATE!!

Random kid: Okay. [Sits up]

Max: [rolls eyes] I've had enough. [exits library]

................

**(Regular) school - Hallway**

Max: Ooh, look! Hi Fang!

Fang: Hi.

Lissa: Hi.

Max: Huh? Lissa's REAL!?

Lissa: Hi, Max. AKA _Impostor_.

Max: Uhh... How awkward is this?

Fang: Yay! Smoochies with Lissa!!1!1

Max: Ugh.

Voice: _Maybe you have feelings for him._

Max: _You're just here to annoy me again, aren't you?_

Voice: _Yes._

................

**Walking home**

Max: That was some day.

Fang: Yeah. I likes smoochies.

Nudge: I DID SOMETHING AND I--MMM MMMF

Max: -Sigh- Now that she's out of the picture...

**Meanwhile, 1/4 mile away...**

Ari: There they are.

Max II: Yeah.

Ari: Max is so full of herself.

Max II: Yeah.

Ari: First I will decapitate them! I will get to make them my slavez! Mwaha. Mwahaha. Mwahahaha.

Max II: Yeah.

Ari: In case you didn't know, I'm _STILL_ hungry.

Max II: Yeah.

Ari: Get me something to eat. Now.

................

**Walking home**

Eraser #1: Want a ride, kids?

Max: No.

Ari: I've got candy.

Max: Okay.

Ari: Oh, wait. I can just eat the candy. [Eats candy] Ahh. I was hungry.

Max: Wha... ARI!?

Ari: [morphs] MWAHAHAHA!!!

[They fight.]

Max: [Plays dead]

Ari: Yes! Max is dead! I'm gonna go now. [Gets in car]

Max: [sits up] -Sigh-

Fang: What's with that hair in the car?

Max: It looks like mine. Hey, wait a minute! That's Max II!

Narrator: You're not supposed to know that yet.

Max: I thought I got rid of you.

Narrator: Nope. The author won't let it happen.

Max: Aw, flubbergaskets.

................

**Anne's house - Living room**

Anne: Ohmygoshies! What happened to you?

Gazzy: Erasers.

Anne: Oh. Wait a minute... Did you say Erasers? As in teh people dog mans?

Max: Uhh... I guess. How did you know?

Anne: Uhh... How did who know about what? Who are you? Where am I?

Fang: Cmon. Leave Miss Amnesia alone for a bit. We've need sleep.

................

**Anne's house - Nudge's room**

Max: Good night.

Nudge: GOOD NIGHT MAX SEE YOU IN THE MORNING AND ALL THAT AND MMMFF--

Max: Quiet, girl. [turns to leave]

Narrator: Guess who...?

Max: Quit it! And why are you even called Narrator anymore? You don't narrate anything. All you do is pop up in random places and be stupid.

Narrator: Good point. [Slinks away]

Max: Now that the hallway's clear, I will... Oh, hi Anne.

**Angel's room**

Anne: Don't let Total on the bed.

Angel: Okay. [Lets Total onto bed]

Anne: Oh, forget it.

Max: What is Ari thinking?  
Angel: Dark. Red. Angry. Torn. Confused. Hungry. More hungry. He can't wait. He hates us. He's gonna replace you. Did I mention he's hungry?

Max: What!? He's . . . HUNGRY? THE HORROR!!!

**Hallways**

Fang: Hi.

Max: Hi.

Fang: I have a blog.

Max: That's nice. I'll go read it now!

................


	7. Part 2, Segment 4

**(Regular) school - Outside**

JJ: Hi Max.

Max: Hi JJ. So what's with the buses?

JJ: Field trip.

Max: To where?

JJ: The White House.

Max: You're kidding. The White House? Where the President lives?

JJ: That's the one.

Max: All righty then.

................

Tess: Over here Jeff!

Iggy: Uhh... [is silent]

Tess: You know, I was relieved when they put you in our class.

Iggy: Why?

Tess: Because...

Teacher: Tess! Jeff! Nick! Get on the bus!

Iggy: Okay.

................

**United States Capitol**

Video: And so these people did this stuff and wrote something and...

Max: -Snore-

Fang: -Snore-

Nudge: WOW THIS VIDEO IS SO COOL I NEVER KNEW THAT AMERICA IS COOL AND... Uh, I mean... Snore?

Angel: _Stop this boring video._

VCR: [ejects tape]

Max: Seriously, a VCR?

JJ: Yeah. I mean, blech, it's freaking ANALOG!

Gazzy: [in random voice] Look at me, I'm VHS! I'm a tape format! TAKE THAT BETA, YOU LOSER!

Max: Okay, enough! We're moving on!

................

**Vietnam Wall**

Max: Okay, so we have a wall with the names of dead people. What's the worst that could happen?

Nudge: [touches wall] WAAAAHHH!

................

**White House**

Max: So this is the White House, huh?

Nudge: OHMYGOSH WE'RE IN THE WHITE HOUSE I WANNA SEE THE PRESIDENT AND TALK TO HIM AND MMMFF--

Max: Not gonna happen, Miss Talksalot. How'd you get the Nerds Ropes past security?

Nudge: I wanna be president.

Gazzy: I'll be vice president!

~50 years from now~

Gazzy: Why do I want to be vice president with Nudge? Well... [farts]

Audience: [insane laughter]

Nudge: BEING PRESIDENT WILL BE GREAT I WANNA DO STUFF AND MMMFF--

~End~

Max: Yeah, right. Hey, where's Angel?

Angel: I'm right here!

President: Yo.

Nudge: OHMYGOSH MR PRESIDENT I'M SO HAPPY TO MEET YOU AND STUFF WHAT'S IT LIKE RUNNING THE COUNTRY DO YOU GET TO DO STUFF AND MMMFF--

Max: She eats Nerds Ropes. That, and the fact that it's 73.2 degrees outside.

President: Oh. I have a suprise!

Max: What?

President: [Takes off suit...]

Narrator: Gar har har har! Fear my narration! Blah blah blah blah!

News reporter: We're live at the White House. We got news that the President is the narrator in disguise!

................

Jeb: Wait, zoom in. What do you see?

Ari: I see Nudge with another of those Nerds Rope thingies... Can't . . . resist . . . must . . . steal . . . Nerds Rope . . . so . . . hungry . . .

Max II: Yeah.

................

Max: Okay, the author told us to tell you...

Fang: We're gonna skip this part...

Max: Because it involves the Bible and he doesn't wanna offend any Christians by accident...

Fang: So there you go. Let's move on with the story.

................

**(Regular) school - Playground**

Iggy: So we share recess?

Gazzy: Yup. Hey, cool! A secret basement!

Someone: Who goes there?

Gazzy: [in Pruitt's voice] Nothing. Just organizing.

Someone: Okay then. Wait a minute. Pruitt never organizes!

Iggy: They're onto us! Get the thing!

................

Pruitt: THIS IS GROUNDS FOR EXPULSION! NOBODY SETS OFF BOMBZ IN MY SCHOOL! YOU'RE A BUNCH OF STREET RATS! VERMIN! STUPID PEOPLE!

Max: What does that make you?

Pruitt: [blows up]

Anne: Hi peoples.  
................

**Anne's house - Inside**

Nudge: CAN WE STAY FOR THANKSGIVING DINNER PLEEZ CUZ I'VE NEVER HAD ONE I BET I'D LIKE TURKEY DO WE GET TO USE CRANBERRY SAUCE AND STUFF?

~TV~

Reporter: Here's Mr. and Mrs. Griffiths on their lost son.

Mr. Griffiths: Waaaahh!

Mrs Griffiths: Waaaahh!

~End TV~

Max: She looked like Iggy.

Fang Do you think... ?


	8. Part 3, Segment 1

**Part Three**

**Skies above Washington, DC**

Fang: Hmmm... Weird. I feel hot.

Max: Weird.

Fang: And apparently since I have your DNA I should be worried, right?

Max: Not necessarilly...

................

**Anne's house - Anne's bedroom**

Anne: Hehehe...

[Dun dun...]

................

**Anne's house**

_The next day..._

Max: Guess what? I've got a date!

Fang: What!?

Gazzy: What!?

Max: See? Here is is! [eats date] I've got a date!

Nudge: What!?

Max: See? [holds up calendar] Also, I've got a date with someone!

Flock: WHAT!!??

Narrator: What?

................  
**Anne's house - Max's room**

Narrator: So, Max and Fang are, uh, in here, and uh, something happens, and uhh...

Max: Glad you're doing your job again.

Fang: You're still annoying though.

................

**Ice cream shop**

Sam: I like you.

Max: I like you... Oops. [Spills ice cream on Sam]

Sam: I just got that dry-cleaned!

Ari: [waves at Max from window] Hi.

Max II: Yeah.

Max: Ooh, I look good!

................

**Anne's house**

Max: Guess what?

Fang: What?

Max: I have an evil twin!

Fang: O TEH NOES!!!1!1

................

**Somewhere**

Jeb: It isn't time yet.

Ari: It'll never be time! You keep saying "soon", but you never let me do anything!

Jeb: We have a plan.

Ari: Okay. (As long as it involves killing, fighting, basketweaving, or any of the above, I'm on board.)

Jeb: Good.

Ari: On one condition.

Jeb: What's that?

Ari: That you get f00dz.

Jeb: No.

Ari: Waaah!

................

**Outside Griffiths house**

Max: I found it! YAY ME!

Fang: Hmm... Self-absorbed much?

Max: Yes.

Fang: Okay. Let's do it.

Max: Okay. [rings doorbell]

Mrs. Griffiths: Hi. Can I help you?

Fang: We're selling subscriptions to teh paperz.

Mrs. Griffiths: ???

................  
**(Regular) school - Secret basement**

Iggy: Wow. So we looked at these files--

Gazzy: Correction. _I_ looked at the files.

Iggy: Whatever. Anyway, it says the school used to be an insane asylum.

Gazzy: A what?

Iggy: A mental hospital. A nuthouse. The funny farm.

Gazzy: Oh. So why is Pruitt saving these?

Iggy: I don't know.

Gazzy: Ooh! There's a tunnel!


	9. Part 3, Segment 2

**Griffiths house**

Max: Here's your son.

Iggy: Uh...

Mrs. Griffiths: Is that a birthmark?

Max: Yeah.

Mr. Griffiths: YAY JAMES IS BACK AND MMMFF--

Nudge: STOP SPEAKING LIKE THAT IT'S MY JOB AND MMMFF--

Max: EVERYBODY SHUT UP!

Iggy: -Ahem-

Max: Oh, yeah, bye Iggy.

................

**A place**

Ari: All righties, you gots yer orders d00dz. We go in, grab them, take a shower, steal teh f00dz, get out. Like surgery.

Eraser #1: I'm squeamish. No surgery please.

Ari: It's a figure of speech ya idiot. Listen up next time, #1!

Eraser #1: My name is Johnson!

Ari: Whatever. And nobody touches Max! All right, let's go!

~Excuse~

Jeb: WHY IS MAX DEAD!?

Ari: I tried to stop that other guy but he wouldn't listen! He ate my homework!

Jeb: Okay. So let's get you some lunch.

Ari: YAAAAYY!

Jeb: Psych.

Ari: OH TEH NOES!!!1!11

~End excuse~

................

**(Regular) school - Auditorium**

Pruitt: One of our students is missing. YAY!

Max: Uh...

Pruitt: Ig--er, Jeff Walker is missing. We need info on him right now. If you know anything, tell us. If you don't know, we'll kill you. If you lie about knowing, we'll kill you. If you refuse to be killed, we'll kill you.

Max: Sounds harsh.

JJ: Aww, Max, I'm so sorry! WAAAH!

Max: ???

**Teacher's lounge**

Max: Sorry for walking in on you. It's just... Oh.

[Several teachers pull out Tasers]

Max: Hey, cool Tasers. Where'd you get them?

Pruitt: Yo.

Max: RUN!!!

................

**(Regular) school - Outside**

_Warning: Video game characters ahead. I do not own video game characters. I do not own video game characters. I do not own video game characters. I do not own video game characters. I do not own video game characters. Have I said it enough times? PLEASE DON'T SUE!!!_

Pruitt: COME BACK HERE! [bumps into wall] Ouch.

Max: Hey, what's that on your shirt?

Pruitt: Aw, flubbergaskets. My disguise's ruined.

Max: ???

Pruitt: [is actually...]

Narrator: Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh!

Lord Crump: Hey, that's my line!

Max: [to flock] WHO TOOK PAPER MARIO 2 OUT OF THE GAMECUBE WITHOUT TURNING IT OFF!?

Flock: Uhh...

Max: Get back into your game, fatso.

Lord Crump: Okay, fine... [slinks away]

Max: AAAAA-- Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door is the sole property of Nintendo --AAAAAAAAH! RUN!!!

_No more video game characters (have I mentioned how I don't own any of them?) after this._

................

**Anne's house - Front yard**

Jeb: Hi Max!

Ari: MUST KILL BIRD KIDS! RAWR!

Max: I don't even wanna hear it. Let's go to Disney World for no reason!

................

_I do not own Paper Mario 2, Lord Crump, Nintendo Gamecube, or "Buh huh huh". Nintendo does._


	10. Part 4, Segment 1

**Part Four**

**Best-Mart - Electronics department**

Ari: Let's see... Which Game Boy should I get... [looks through display]

Sales guy: Hey mister. Looking for a Game Boy Advance SP?

Ari: Yeah. What colors do you have?

Sales guy: Red... black... silver... plaid...

Ari: BUSTED! You've been exposed, fake!

Sales guy: Aw, man! [takes off costume]

Narrator: How'd you know?

Ari: Everyone knows that plaid isn't a color!

Narrator: D'oh!

Sales guy: HEY! I go off for TWO MINUTES to use the restroom, and I get some WEIRDO trying to do MY job!?

Narrator: Pretty much.

Sales guy: Get out!

Narrator: [leaves]

Ari: Thanks. You know, I've got a history with that guy.

Sales guy: No problem. So, here's your Game Boy.

Ari: YAY!

Sales guy: That's $129.99.

Ari: [morphs]

Sales guy: [faints]

Ari: SUCCESS!

................

**Best-Mart - Parking lot**

Woman: Check out this book I'm reading!

Ari: What's it called?

Woman: Maximum Ride.

Ari: [faints]

................

**The sky somewhere**

Max: It's sad without Iggy.

Iggy: Yeah. I totally agree.

Max: IGGY!?

Gazzy: IGGY!?

Nudge: IGGY I MISS YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE WAS WORRIED AND--

Angel: IGGY!?

Fang: Dot dot dot.

Max: What happened?

Iggy: I ditched 'em.

Max: Why?

~Flashback~

Iggy: So, Mom, Dad... I'd like to show you something.

Mrs. Griffiths: Sure, son. What's that?

Iggy: Wings. [shows them]

Mr. Griffiths: WOW! [takes picture] Let's sell these on eBay!

Mrs. Griffiths: Let's!

Iggy: -gulp-

~End flashback

Iggy: I don't wanna talk about it.

................

**The beach**

Angel: I can talk to fish!

Max: Way to go.

................

**The forest**

Max: What's that noise?

Boy: Help us! We got kidnapped!

Girl: We're not related either!

Max: Who kidnapped you?

Girl: Some people in white lab coats.

Max: Okay, you can stay with us. But no funny stuff.

................

_Later..._

Boy: [to radio] Okay, we got 'em.

Max: What!? [gives chase] Ordering a pizza?

Girl: I'M SORRY!

Max: What for?

Girl: ITEX KIDNAPPED US AND TOLD US TO FIND SIX KIDS WITH WINGS!

Max: Itex what?

Boy: Itex. It's a company. That's all we know.

................

**Skies above Orlando, Florida**

Max: No way.

Nudge: Angel...?

Angel: On it.

Max: Sure.

Angel: SUCCESS!

Max: Let's go down.

................

**Walt Disney World - Magic Kingdom - Main Street, USA**

Nudge: I WANNA GO IN EVERY SHOP AND SEE EVERY SINGLE THING AND EAT EVERY SINGLE NERDS ROPE!

Total: Let's go to Pirates!

Max: YES!

Fang: . . .

Gazzy: Yeah!

Nudge: OOH YEAH CAN I TAKE MY NERDS ROPES ONTO THE RIDE WITH ME?

Max: No.

Narrator: CAKE!

................

**Walt Disney World - Magic Kingdom - Pirates of the Caribbean**

Ari: Hehehe...

Max: [points] Hey, that's a weird-looking animatronic. Looks very life-like. Almost reminds me of Ari.

Fang: What happened to him?

Ari: I am not weird-looking!

Fang: I assume this would be a "speak of the devil" kind of thing.

Max: Yep.

Ari: Disguising as an Audio-Animatronic? Best plan ever!

Max: [punches Ari]

Ari: AAAH! [falls in water]

Max: Alright. We leave after this ride.

Flock: Okay.

................

_I do not own Game Boy Advance SP, eBay, Walt Disney World, or Audio-Animatronics. _


	11. Part 4, Segment 2

**A random junkyard**

Max: Okay. We're at a junkyard.

Total: No duh.

Max: We're gonna steal a car again.

Fang: There's a problem. This is a junkyard.

Max: So?

Fang: Why do cars usually arrive at junkyards?

Max: Because they're obsolete?

Fang: Or because they don't work.

Nudge: What if we take parts out of other cars and go off with that Toyota Echo over there.

Fang: There's a problem. Who here is a college-educated professional mechanic?

Flock: [is silent]

Fang: Who here is an uneducated fugitive bird kid?

Flock: Everyone.

Total: -Ahem-

Flock: Except Total.

Author: [whispers in Fang's ear]

Fang: Okay! Actually, since this is a parody, we can do whatever we want. So, car it is.

Flock: YAY!

................

**Interstate 95, somewhere in Florida**

Max: Slow down!

Fang: Okay.

................

State trooper: [on radio] I've got a speeder. [puts on siren]

Siren: [stops]

State trooper: Aw, crabcakes, my siren broke. I'll just do it the fun way! [takes out frequency jammer]

................

State trooper: [through car radio] Stop your car.

Fang: [stops car]

State trooper: Show me your license, registration, and insurance, now, or else I'll do something!

Angel: You're not interested in us. You need to go.

Trooper: I'm not interested. I'd better go. [Goes]

................

**A random motel**

Max: Okay, let's settle down.

Fang: Do you think we'll be successful tomorrow?

Gazzy: Maybe.

Max: Good nigh-AAAH! HELP Mmmmmff--

Ari: Got her. Ready?

Max II: Yeah.

................

~The next day~

Gazzy: Max?

Max II: Yeah?

Gazzy: I'm hungry.

Max II: Yeah. [goes over to stove to cook]

Nudge: You're going to cook!?

Max II: Yeah. [cooks]

Flock: [sits down to eat]

Nudge: Max, this food is great! Hey, wait a minute... This food is great!? WHAT THE HECK? WHAT'S WRONG WITH MAX!!!???

Angel: Are you alright, Max?

Max II: Yeah. _Hehehe, this is gonna be easy. Nobody'll even figure out that I'm a--_

Angel: YOU'RE A CLONE!

Max II: Yeah.

Fang: I knew it all along. Score one for the mind reader.

Max II: Yeah...

................

**Itex building - Isolation tank**

Max: Where am I?

Voice: _Do you want to know?_

Max: Yes.

Voice: _Are you sure you want to know?_

Max: Yes.

Voice: _Are you SURE you want to know?_

Max: YES! YES I'M SURE FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!

Voice: _Well, too bad. Like I'm ever gonna tell you that you're in an isolation tank in an Itex building. Wait a minute, did I just say that? AW POOP!_

................

**The forest near the Itex building**

Max II: _I've just gotta lead them to Itex..._

Iggy: Not so fast, CLONE!

Nudge: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MAX I WANT ANSWERS WHO SENT YOU AND WHY!!!!!?

Max II: Yeah.

Nudge: "YEAH"? That's all you can say is "YEAH"!?

Max II: Yeah.

Angel: Oh, yeah, she's thinking of taking us into Itex. And she's gonna take us to the real Max. Right now.

Max II: Uh... [looks confused] Yeah.

[Max II starts walking towards the Itex building. The rest of them follow.]

................

**Itex building - Isolation tank**

Max: I'm going to play dead now. I'M DEAD I'M DEAD I'M DEAD

Whitecoat: She's dead! We'd better let her out! [opens tank]

................

**Itex building - Hallway**

Max II: [Walks to door]

Nudge: That's where Max is! [opens door]

Whitecoat: She's dead! We'd better let her out! [opens tank]

Gazzy: NO!!!

Fang: No...

Max: Hi.

Angel: Max II.

Max II: Yeah?

Angel: Max beat you already.

Max II: Uh... Yeah.

Max: Let's get outta here!

................

**Somewhere**

Author: You're fired.

Narrator: Aww... [walks away]

_**END OF BOOK II**_


End file.
